Wife telling husband-How to Deal with a Lying Spouse - Financial Infidelity in Marriage

A judge took the paperwork at face value, and granted Nixon his divorce, with his wife only discovering what he allegedly did afterwards. That prompted her to call police, with Nixon now facing aggravated perjury charges over the alleged ruse. Houston Police Department added that because the documents Nixon allegedly submitted were fakes, his marriage has also been reinstated. He is currently being sought by cops, who have asked anyone with information about his whereabouts to get in touch. It is unclear whether Nixon allegedly presented the false papers after his wife refused to sign them, or whether news of the attemped divorce came as a complete surprise.

Wife telling husband

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Advertiser Disclosure: The credit card offers that appear on this site are from credit card companies from which MoneyCrashers. This compensation may impact how and where products appear on this site, including, for example, the order in which they appear on category pages. Advertiser partners include American Express, Chase, U. Bank, and Barclaycard, among others. Julia has a secret credit card that she hides from her husband, Carlos. Whenever she goes out for a little retail therapy, she uses that card and has the bill sent to her office.

And according to experts, it can cause just as much harm in a marriage as cheating on your spouse. Julia is a fictional character, but the kind of deception her story illustrates is both real and widespread. In a survey by CreditCards.

Financial infidelity takes many forms, some more serious than others. Here are some of the things people admit to deceiving their partners about. Perhaps the most common form of financial infidelity is lying about or covering up spending. Husbands were more likely to hide spending on electronics or hobbies, while wives typically concealed purchases of clothing, shoes, and gifts for friends and family. A less common, but more serious, form of financial infidelity is hiding debt from your partner.

About 1 in 12 respondents in the NEFE survey said they had lied to their partners about how much they owe. In some cases, secret debt can amount to tens of thousands of dollars. The money had gone to supplement the household finances and pay a business consultant while the husband was going through a job change. Massive debts like these can stay hidden for years, only coming out into the open when the debt-ridden spouse can no longer find a way to make ends meet.

By that point, of course, paying off the credit card debt is a much bigger challenge. One in 20 respondents in the NEFE survey said they had lied to their partners about how much money they make.

People can lie about their income in either direction. When her husband finally found out the truth, he immediately filed for divorce. One of the rarest forms of financial infidelity is keeping entire accounts hidden from your partner.

The CreditCards. According to Chemtob, financial infidelity is a problem at all income levels. Wealthy people are just as likely to hide money matters from their partners as those living on a shoestring budget. The rich simply come up with more elaborate schemes for hiding their money.

Both men and women commit financial infidelity, but it appears to be slightly more common among men. Men and women were equally likely to hide minor purchases from their partners, but men were nearly twice as likely to hide major ones and to lie about their earnings.

There is one exception to this rule: lying about debt. The NEFE survey found that women were slightly more likely than men to lie about the amount of debt they have. Safe Home found the same thing; One possible reason for these differences is that men and women tend to have different attitudes about spending.

So men who conceal major purchases from their spouses may not consider themselves to be cheating, even if their partners do. Younger couples are more likely to hide details about money from each other than older ones. In the CreditCards. People under 50 were nearly twice as likely to have a secret account as people over The NEFE survey found slightly different results; men under 35 years old were the most likely to commit financial infidelity. Of these men, nearly three out of four said they had lied about or hidden financial details from a partner.

For women, however, financial infidelity peaked at a slightly later age. People keep financial secrets from their partners for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, however, concealing money matters can be a symptom of a deeper problem in the relationship, such as fear or lack of trust. In other cases, the spouse who hides money is doing so to cover up something else, such as addiction or a sexual affair.

The most common reason people give for keeping money secrets from their partners is to avoid conflict. On the face of it, trying to avoid a fight with your partner seems like an innocuous reason for a lie.

Sonya Britt-Lutter, a financial expert interviewed by CreditCards. For instance, perhaps one spouse wants to keep spending lots of money on clothes or dining out the way they did when they were single, while the other wants to save every spare penny for a down payment on a house.

The best way to avoid fighting about money in this case would be for the two partners to sit down and talk about their priorities. They could then work out a compromise that would allow them both to put some money toward what they want most. However, sometimes a talk like this seems so overwhelming that the spending spouse decides to dodge the issue by spending as usual without telling their partner.

They hide their new purchases in the back of the closet or fib about how much they spent on them. The spending spouse ends up in hot water not just for frittering away their money, but also for lying about it. In other cases, partners do share the same values when it comes to money, but one partner is much better than the other at living up to those values. For instance, maybe both partners have agreed that they want to buy a house, but one of them is having trouble sticking to this goal.

This partner keeps blowing the money they should be saving for a down payment on impulse buys like a new pair of shoes or a set of golf clubs.

Afterward, they feel ashamed of their irresponsible spending, so they conceal the purchases from their partner. Guilt or embarrassment can also lead to more extreme forms of money deception, such as covering up debt.

This embarrassment turns to guilt, making it even harder to own up to your mistakes. A gambling addict, for instance, could sit up all night playing online poker with a secret credit card, while a shopping addict may smuggle home new purchases concealed at the bottom of a bag of groceries. In fact, it often makes matters worse by stacking debt and deception on top of the physical, mental, and emotional toll of addiction.

The spouse of a drug or gambling addict sometimes hides income in a secret account to keep it out of the hands of the addicted partner. Financial infidelity can also be a symptom of distrust and resentment in a relationship. Sometimes, the spouse who earns more resents having to foot the bills for the other one, especially for things the higher earner considers luxuries rather than necessities. The higher earner thinks that making more money gives them the right to make all the decisions about spending it, forcing the lower-earning spouse to account for every penny they spend and taking them to task for any expense the higher earner considers too frivolous.

The lower earner gets back at them by finding sneaky ways to hide spending, such as saying the money they spent on a salon visit went to pay the gas bill.

Whatever the cause, revenge spending is a sign of an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. In some cases, financial infidelity and sexual infidelity go hand in hand. People who are cheating on their spouses usually try to cover up evidence of the affair, and that means hiding telltale expenses such as hotel bills, gifts, and travel. They may try to pass off these costs as business expenses or open a secret account to keep them hidden. In the case of the super-rich, spending on affairs can be incredibly extravagant.

An affair can also lead to financial infidelity if one partner starts contemplating divorce. For instance, a husband who intends to leave his wife for his mistress might plan ahead by opening a secret account and stashing a portion of his income there. Perhaps the most serious reason couples conceal money matters from each other is out of genuine fear.

For instance, a wife could hide her spending from an abusive husband for fear that he will hit her. Couples in this situation need counseling to deal with both the financial infidelity and the fear and distrust behind it. Financial infidelity can be just as harmful to a relationship as sexual infidelity, if not more so. Financial infidelity hurts couples in two ways. The first casualty is trust. Dishonesty is a problem that cuts both ways. Larger-scale deceptions, like secret accounts, can get a couple into even deeper trouble.

For instance, if one partner has accumulated large amounts of debt without telling the other, you might have to cash out a k to pay for it, sacrificing your chances of a comfortable and happy retirement. The damage done by a financially unfaithful spouse can persist even if the marriage ends. When a spouse cheats on you, you can always walk away from the marriage and get on with your life. The best way to keep financial infidelity from harming your relationship is to put a stop to it before it starts.

Newly married couples should sit down and talk out all the details of their financial life, from bank accounts to long-term financial goals. Look at how much money you earn between the two of you, then work together to set targets for how much you want to spend on rent, food, and other basic needs.

Also, decide how much you want to set aside each month in savings to put toward your long-term goals. Making your budget together ensures that you both know where you stand financially and helps you stay on track toward your goals.

Your financial situation can change over time, and so can your goals, so to make sure you stay on the same page, continue to discuss your finances regularly.

Another tip experts offer is to make sure both partners are involved in taking care of their joint finances. Experts offer several other ways to keep both partners involved:. Instead of making your problems worse by trying to hide them from each other, you can face them head-on and deal with them right away. The sooner you tackle small problems, such as a gap in your budget or an unpaid balance on your credit cards, the easier it is to keep them from turning into big problems. Recovering from financial infidelity takes a lot of work from both partners.

There are several warning signs that a partner could be cheating on you financially. Some people become defensive and reluctant to talk about money, while others suddenly start spending a lot more or a lot less.

Approaching the problem with concern, rather than anger, is the best way to get at the truth. Choose a moment when you and your partner are both calm and non-stressed to bring up the problem. Financial infidelity is often a symptom of a problem somewhere else in the relationship.

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Wife telling husband

Wife telling husband

Wife telling husband

Wife telling husband

Wife telling husband

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Husbands, do you worry that you don't know the "right" thing to say to your wife? We've got you covered. Because sometimes, "Honey, I'll put the kids to bed" means even more than "I love you. And follow Redbook on Pinterest for more sex and relationship advice.

Many men don't understand how much women need other women. Make sure your wife gets plenty of girl time and she'll be better able to appreciate what a great man you are. Everyone has something they hate and will procrastinate until the dust bunnies come alive.

But if you do your wife's most hated chore, not only are you doing her a solid but you're also showing her that you care about her comfort. Last minute crises can become full-blown emergencies if she's on the way out the door. Put your wife's mind at ease by letting her know that you've got this. Whatever it is, from bodily fluids to ballet class, you will handle it so she doesn't have to worry. If it's been more than a few months since your wedding day, chances are being a wife and possibly mom have taken over her identity.

But your wedding day was magical for her and she'll love the reminder of the day when she was the beautiful bride — and that she still is that to you. After all, you might be aging but your love isn't! Planned Disney vacation or impromptu trip to the museum, it doesn't matter. The fact that you took time out of your busy schedule just to be with her means so much!

It doesn't have to be Mother's Day or her birthday to do something a little special for your wife — in fact, it's even more meaningful when it's not. Bringing her a warm mug of something in the morning or a foot rub at night is a simple way to show your love and concern for her.

Whether your wife relaxes by getting her nails done, hitting the gym, grabbing coffee with a friend, or going shopping, every woman has her favorite go-to activities when she's super stressed.

Yet women too often put their needs last, so give her a gentle, guilt-free reminder to take care of herself. Even better, make sure the children or other responsibilities are taken care of so she doesn't have to worry about anything while she's gone.

When you were first dating, you always thought of each other, but now that the rush of romance has subsided it can be easy to lose the passion. Yet wives love to hear that you're thinking about her just as much now as they did then. You don't have to hire a skywriter, just send her a quick text or even a sly wink across the table.

Then she'll be thinking about you, too! New babies are a tough adjustment for the whole family, especially if they're not sleeping much, but it's usually the moms who take the brunt of it. Give her a break by offering to wake up at night and feed, change and settle the baby. Even if she's breastfeeding, you can at least bring the baby to her or she can pump before she goes to bed. It's amazing what one full night of sleep can do for a mom's spirit!

And it's nice to hear that you miss her, too. It's true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder — but only if you tell her! Saying "I love you" is nice and all, but saying what specifically you love about her makes the sentiment that much more meaningful and heartfelt.

Do you love the freckles on her nose? The way she silently laughs? The arch of her back? Her talent for writing? Tell her. Tell her every day. Letting your wife know when to expect you is a common courtesy.

Not only does it stop her from worrying if you're late or freaking out if you're early, but some days you are the light at the end of a long tunnel. Putting down your work and heading home shows her where your true priorities are. Being a mother is simultaneously the hardest and best job your wife has ever had, but unlike her previous jobs, with this one she doesn't get progress reports, raises, promotions, or kudos.

Every day can feel incredibly high stakes and yet she won't fully know how she did until the kids are adults and it's too late to change anything. Then you can work out the parenting kinks together.

Self-esteem can take a serious nosedive during pregnancy. Yet for many men, nothing could be further from truth and they love seeing their wives pregnant.

Let your wife know that you love everything from her battle scars stretch marks to her tummy and that you're grateful she's carrying your child. Unless your wife is an actual chef, chances are she's not a pro in the kitchen. Yet she still tries to make delicious, healthy meals for her family. Make sure she knows you appreciate her efforts and let her know when you enjoy something in particular. One surefire way to bring back the spark into your relationship is to remember all the reasons you fell in love in the first place.

Sometimes all a lady wants to hear is what you love about her and why she's so special to you. Using pet names may make your children gag, but they still have the power to make your wife swoon. She'll enjoy the reminder of when you were first so in love that you took the time to make up ridiculous nicknames for each other. Heck, she'll also enjoy embarrassing the kids. Get in there, Honey Buns. Children are wonderful, high-energy bundles of joy and wonderment that teach us how to love and see the world in a whole new way.

It can't be overstated how nice it is to have someone you trust step in and offer to take the kids away for an hour or two. Note: You'll ruin it if you call it "babysitting. Sharing the work load at home is always a great way to show you're a team player but doing extra chores — and here's the key: without being asked — shows that you really care about her happiness and well-being.

Show your wife you're always in her corner by telling her you've got faith in her abilities to handle a tough situation. Whether she's taking on the school principal or asking for a raise at work, your confidence in her will show her you love her and will increase her confidence in herself. Just ask Hallmark: Women love it when you remember important dates, like the day you met and the day you got married.

Show her you care by planning ahead for milestone anniversaries. Even better, make a note on your calendar of other dates that have special meaning to her, like the anniversary of her dad's passing or of a painful miscarriage. You don't have to do a grand gesture, but simply sending her a quick text that you remember and are thinking about her is a powerful show of love. When your wife tells you about a problem she's having, your first instinct may be to try and fix it for her — and then to get frustrated when she doesn't seem to appreciate your obvious solution.

But often when women share problems they're looking for connection and sympathy, not for someone else to fix it. Tell her "I know I can't solve all your problems, but I'm always here for you and you'll never face them alone again" and watch her melt. Expressing gratitude is one of the fundamentals of a healthy relationship, yet it can be so easy to let this simple habit slip, especially when life gets frantic.

Not only will taking the time to say "thank you" for something specific make her feel good, it will also help you see how many things she does that you really are grateful for. Sometimes life can feel like a treadmill that keeps speeding up no matter how fast you run, and it takes someone else to point out that you're allowed to simply step off of it for a bit.

Women often want to be everything to everyone and don't want to disappoint those they love so letting her know that it's okay to let go of some things and you don't expect her to be Wonder Woman will be a huge weight off her shoulders.

Life is hard. And women are often even harder on themselves. Let your wife know that you see everything she's doing and that her hard work is paying off. This is especially meaningful on days where she is feeling overwhelmed. Too many people in long-term relationships get complacent and think that their partner should just know that they are important, but there's nothing like hearing it said out loud to make a lady feel loved.

Don't assume that she knows she's the center of your universe, tell her. When you have little kids even going pee by yourself feels like a vacation, much less getting to do the grocery shopping without "helpers. Some nights putting the kids to bed is like playing whack-a-mole with one hand tied behind your back and where the moles can sneak out of the game and surprise you long after the buzzer rings. Of course this happens at the time of day when the adults are exhausted and the kids are getting their second wind.

Taking over bedtime duties without being asked is one of the kindest things one parent can do for the other. You're on your way home from work and you pass by the local coffee shop and decide to stop in for a quick pick-me-up.

Grab your lady her favorite drink and you'll earn double husband points — first, for bringing her an unexpected treat and second, for remembering what her favorite drink order is. Type keyword s to search. Don't forget to pin this gallery for later! Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Relationships.

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Wife telling husband